Public Access 26


Oh Thanksgiving…  No other “well meaning” holiday quite brings out my anger like you.  Founded on genocide, celebrated with unhealthy overeating, and forcing me to appease my family.. I can’t say that you’re my favorite holiday.

Instead of being a Grade A jerk, and ranting about the Native Americans, the importance of good eating habits, or how glad I am that I’m nowhere near my family at this time, I think I will instead take a trip to “Public Access 26.”  Nestled on the East Coast, where the skies are so perfect, it can make you cry, and the temperature is Goldilocks.  Not sweltering hot or brisk, but just right.  A light breeze picks up my hair and tosses it to the side like I’m a model posing for a photo shoot.  I lose my insecurities and suddenly feel alive with beauty.  My olive skin is soft and free of blemishes, absolutely kissable.  I smile my pretty little smile and flaunt my lightly colored patterned sundress.  I notice my curves and how my waist pulls in to create my petite hourglass.  I’m so thankful to be here and to feel the sand beneath my bare feet.

What wondrous beauty this beach has.  I’m reminded of the humbling might of the Earth and I revere the nature around me and the far away nature I’ve yet to see in my short life.  How lucky we are to live in such a place.  My face drops and suddenly my heart cries for the devastation that some humans have brought to our earth.  I cannot answer for them and their mistakes, but I can answer for myself and I will try to protect that which cannot protect itself.

I remind myself of the importance of not over extending myself.  I would save everyone and every animal if I could.  I would wrap up the planet into a warm blanket, hold it to my breast, and transfer all the pain onto myself.  I will take all your pain and suffering.  I will solve all your problems.  I will do all your crying for you, just please be happy and tell me thank you.  But, alas, these things are not feasible.  I am no god, and I can barely handle my own problems.  If I can bring myself to a good place, maybe then I can help in more profound ways.  Please wait on me world.  Invest in me and I will invest in you.  Just give me time.

I feel thankful now for my life.  How lucky I am to live past infancy and be able to experience from this buffet.  Thank you.

I send my eyes to the heavens then softly sit on the sand and watch the oceans waves passively roll in.  It’s a beautiful day on this beautiful Earth and the cosmos have granted me this single nicety to enjoy in this fleeting moment.  I can ask for no more than this.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Even if you are like me, and don’t necessarily enjoy this holiday, find your happy place and give thanks as often as possible, not just in the fall or winter.

Thank you for reading my humble little blog and I wish you luck on finding your inner peace, if just for one moment.


Ze Tsarina


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