“Hello Darkness, My Old Friend.”

I never intended to reveal that I am a military spouse, but I came home yesterday to the most devastating news.  He’s going to deploy again.  This time to Afghanistan.  Shock waves of pain shuddered inside of me and my whole world suddenly lost meaning.  What a life it is being a military spouse, where such bombshells are normal and expected to be obediently tolerated and accepted.

I have exams and reports due this week.  My car is in the shop.  And next month, my husband will be leave for six months and everything as I know it will fade to gray and quickly enter my peripheral vision.  Everything I have accomplished for the past two years, insofar as my mental health and it’s delicate stability, is deteriorating under my feet.  I will attempt to crawl from this dark place of mine, but it will likely be a slow process.

He is my best friend and the one who taught me what happiness is really like.  He is truly my rock and during meditation, my visions of inner peace are of him.

Forgive my somber tone.  Tomorrow is another day.  And assuredly it has the potential to be so much brighter.


Ze Tsarina


The Secret of All Life

Your DNA?  Made of heterocycles.  LSD and cocaine?  Made of heterocycles.  Why would anyone give a fuck about these so-called “heterocycles”?  Initially, I was interested only because I’m eternally intrigued by basically anything of mild importance, however, after learning about the presence of heterocycles in nature, my eyes glazed, my mouth hung open with a little drool, and excitement spewed from the top of my head.  Heterocycles are in almost anything you can imagine.  Histamines you take Benadryl to neutralize?  Made of heterocycles.  Your blood?  Made of heterocycles.  Sugar?  Made of heterocycles.  Chlorophyll in plants?  Made of heterocycles.   And that’s not even tapping into pharmaceuticals where they really begin to shine.

Your life… made possible by heterocycles.  Holy fucking smokes.

So what is a heterocycle anyway?  Simply put, a heterocycle is a ring of carbon atoms plus at least one other atom. Pictorially:

BAM!  Carbon ring is not a heterocycle.  Carbon ring plus another element IS heterocycle.  Here we show nitrogen.

BAM! A carbon ring is not a heterocycle. A carbon ring with another element in in IS heterocycle. Here we show nitrogen. Sorry if this incredibly high tech graphic crashed your computer.

So what’s the deal with these guys?  What makes them so popular?  Well, carbon is the basis of all life on Earth, so it’s useful really anywhere.  Interjecting other elements in a carbon ring allows for all kinds of fun things and processes to happens, given the right tools.  For example, the ring can open up and some atoms can be pulled out or more can be added.  Think Minecraft with molecules, the possibilities are endless!  Big rings, small rings, one nitrogen, three nitrogen, borons, oxygens, cyanides… anything!  Life begins and ends with a heterocycle.  How cool!!!

Pardon the enthusiasm, but I’m very delighted in this.  Go share this knowledge with everyone you meet.  It will serve you well in life.  Maybe.

Yours Truly,

Ze Tsarina